If you are a Friend of Humanity, you are not alone. We at Humanis Policlub are here for YOU, the common man on the street. You don’t have fancy magics, aristocratic blood or inhuman strength? Well, neither do we, but we have something far more powerful: FAITH IN MANKIND. Together, we are many. Humanis Policlub membership has risen dramatically in the past few months, which shows that there actually are many out there that think the same way you do!
Wait, aren’t you a bunch of racists?
Nothing could be further from the truth! Racists are people who believes that some humans are racially superior to others. We are not nazis, we believe that ALL HUMANS ARE EQUAL. We have the same genetics, it doesn’t matter if you’re black or white, asian or hispanic.
But we also do not ignore or deny the basic fact of life: UGE and Goblinization is real. These mutations have created new species, which are called Elves, Dwarves, Orks and Trolls, inspired by ancients myths and fantasy creatures. Darwin predicted mutations like this in his theory of evolution, some offshoots are genetically inferior and will die out, and some creates a new species that can in some cases outperform and eliminate the old. The Neanderthals of old were stronger and hairier than us, HOMO SAPIENS, also known as humans. Despite this, our superior intellect, teamwork, and ability to adapt allowed our species to dominate this planet. We in Humanis Policlub strive to make sure our species is protected from any form of mutant that could endanger our future.
What’s the problem with metahumans?
In an ideal world we would all be the same, and everyone would love and accept one another. Unfortunately, reality is not like that. We all know ORKS are physically strong, matures fast, and are spawned in large litters. Orks are overrepresented in crime, especially violent crime. They pay less taxes, perform worse in academic settings, and their numbers are increasing fast compared to human births. Statistics show that orks will outnumber humans in as little as 50 years. We have also registered several accounts of humans goblinizing into orks becoming excessively violent, often attacking their friends and loved ones, although liberal groups such as ORC and Sons of Sauron try to cover up these stories. Overpopulation and ork gangbanging can not be overlooked as a problem in our society. Do you have a ork gang problem in your area? See our flyer on Humanis Neighbourhood Watch groups, and how you can contribute to a safer environment for your fellow man.
Trolls are thankfully less aggressive, but also a lot stronger and more dangerous. Most trolls can easily tip over a car. They simply do not fit into human society, usually breaking things with their massive strength and size. In a kindergarten in Louisville, a little girl died after her troll playmate sat on her in an unsupervised moment.
It does not help that trolls on average have the mental faculties of a child, many are legally retarded. Would you want to have a retarded child next to yours that can easily crush the skull of an adult human with it’s bare fists? Gorillas can be cute, but you don’t want to mingle with them.
Due to the bad rap orks and trolls get, elves and dwarves are often overlooked and more easily infiltrate and blend into human society. A little known fact is that elves make up a large majority of Seattle’s prostitutes, and despite their good looks, often end up in large violent biker gangs such as the Ancients. But the real danger is elves infiltrating showbiz, and even worse, politics. With their natural charisma, pheromones and good looks they can easily persuade you to do anything, even without the use of mind-bending magic (which they often possess). While they breed slower, they also outlive everyone else, meaning a same elf can head a corporation or even a nation state for hundreds of years of more, with no one taking over. Entire nations such as the old Ireland and the area around Portland has been hijacked by elves, who in turn has introduced undemocratic rules of Kings and Queens, inequality of nobles and serfs. And guess who becomes the footstool of the new master race? Yep, that would be us, humanity. Allying with powerful Great Dragons and using dark magic in addition to modern weapons they are a looming threat to UCAS and other states in this great country.
Dwarves are of course easy to overlook, partially due to their minute size. Do not confuse these with small-statured humans, these are a breed apart. They tend to dwell in dark, deep places underground, are single-minded about technology, and do not work well together with humans. Many uses illegal drones, weapons systems or cyberdecks to commit crimes, or to support such illicit behavior. Human repairmen, mechanics and other industry workers often lose their jobs to dwarves, as they seemingly can work for an inhuman amount of hours, doing jobs a robot can’t.
Human rights for workers have been fought for by unions for over a hundred years, and now dwarven scabs can work cheaper, longer and just as effectively, something the megacorps know and love. Humanis strives to enforce the rights of human workers, and to avoid workplace discrimination by allowing shorter hours at the same pay as dwarves, and protection from being fired to give your job to a dwarf. We denounce workplaces with deliberately cramped workspaces that only fit dwarves or small children. Human ingenuity and craftsmanship has made our world today, and our ability to adapt and think outside the box should be rewarded.
What can I do?
Helping is easy. You can become a member through these easy steps, our yearly fee is affordable to all, and you can try out for up to three months for free! Even if you don’t want to become a member, Humanis Policlub can use your help. We have set up an easy to use donation system that can be public or anonymous, or if you want to help in other ways you can call your Humanis call centre on 555-HUMANIS and we will gladly take any help you can give. The POWER is yours!